Summer. The kids are out of school. Alpha Pants is out of school. My family has returned to me! No more long lonely days in the crate. Lots of playing, running, and circus ball (My skilz are "juice"! I can now push the basketball back to the kids in a straight line using only my head). I have recently lost 5 pounds and the vet says I look fantastic. How does the vet know how svelte I am looking, you may wonder? We had a short yet enormously humiliating visit today. I had hoped that you had all forgotten my bathroom blunder with the fire ants. Embarrassing and painful. Well, apparently Alpha Pants needs to get her exterminator back over here. I have been suffering from the hugest, most painful spider bite on my....well, you guessed it. This back yard situation cannot possibly become more denigrating. If this was happening to a PERSON, I can gar-un-tee that it would quickly be rectified. But as I am only a canine, I just get laughed at and stuck in my cage to sleep off the benadryl shot.
Well, eat your hearts out. I bet alot of you poor working folks would love to get in bed and sleep it off. Now get back to work.