Things that go "Whirr" in the Night

I will happily attack any dog bigger than myself. I gamely alert my family to dangers like the thumping washing machine, creepy reflections in windows, and buzzing sprinklers. I am an adept hunter of toads, whom I bravely attempt to squash with my paws. I am terrified of bugs.

My life the past few days has been a torment of terror. Flies keep getting in the house, and I am ashamed to admit to pathological, fear-driven obsessive behaviors. For some reason, when a fly buzzes by, my heart pounds and I compulsively check my, ahem, nether regions. I have no explanation, it just happens. When not peeking behind me, I am scooting underneath furniture. I feel the safest under beds upstairs. Flies do not usually frequent the darkness underneath furniture. Ahhh, but there are certain things that DO frequent dark areas under furniture...

Remember, I live in south Texas, in the tropics. Where yellow roses give birth to gargantuan things like cockroaches. Now, if you've never encountered a cockroach, cross yourself three times and stay where you are! These little demoniac critters are so fast it makes your skin crawl. They like to come out at night. There are cockroaches who FLY!! And they can live for a week without their head. Need I say more?

It was a quiet, normal summer night. Mr. Will was reading, and I was snoozing on the pile of pillows by his bed. He was cheating, and reading a scary book long past lights out. His mother was snoring obliviously in her room. Suddenly, we heard a "whirring" noise. Now, if "whirr" doesn't give you chills, then you are not in cockroach country. It was like a science-fiction/horror movie: the black, blurry smudge zooming from dark corner to dark corner, eluding identification, until landing on the wall only inches from Mr. Will's head. Mr. Will, bless him, bravely spent .0125 seconds identifying the gruesome thing, then abandoned me and took off at a dead run to his mother!!!

I will spare you further details, if only to not embarrass Mr. Will. Although I bravely spent the night guarding Will from the creature, which of course refused to show itself when thrown a challenge by Ms. Alpha Pants, I did not rest well. We were all relieved when the small demon was found dead in the bathroom yesterday morning. However, THIS morning, poor Ms. Erica stepped barefooted on yet another one in the kitchen! Ms. Alpha Pants finished the thrashing creature off for her after falling down the last half of the stairs at 6:30 in the morning (but that's another story). I have been extra affectionate to Alpha Pants today, as I overheard her on the phone with her pest control company. They will be coming on Monday.

Can we make it til then?

Wait, was that a "whirr"?

http://www.roachcom.net/rofacts/